Chronicles of the Prematurely Sane

It's March already? The 5th even?

When the hell did that happen?

• School has started and so far classes look interesting and fun.Two will be fairly easy for me, two will be time and paper intensive. Two professors, I have had before so I know their style well and we have a good report.
• Looking forward to a cemetery project for Historical Archaeology.
• Already planning out the final art project for the fine arts requirement.
• Friday, I am attending a presentation for a program that could land me back in japan for a couple weeks (for virtually no money out of my pocket. But it is very competitive, so I won't be surprised if i am not chosen at the end. I will do my best.
• Also on Friday, I have to go to a gallery viewing for an essay that I need to complete by next Thursday.
• Work Study is going well. Schedule has veered from the original plan, but that's alright, it is still workable.
• Got a locker for a year at the gym here. I guess there are no excuses for me not to use the equipment this winter.
• Finished Lynn Flewelling's Tamir Triad and completely loved it.
• Still dealing with that groin injury.
• Got a haircut. I completely love it.
• Bought new clothes to start school - OMG, I now fit into an XL shirt! I no longer have to buy 1X. Unfortunately, I still have to shop the Women's Section for pants...I am just a smidge to large for the other options. This will change - remember I rented that gym locker.
• Anthropology club is meeting today and I won't be in attendance. Sadly, I will be in class. I suppose I will have to get the minutes and notes from Juan.
• Might pop for Chinese for dinner. Splurging a bit because it is the end of the first week of classes.
• Paid off two of the annoying bills and got caught up on everything that was behind. This makes me incredibly happy.

And that's what's been going on lately. Posting is becoming sporadic here due to responsibilities of school - remember I have that other journal if you would like to read my ramblings more often.

Any of you on the East Coast - take care of yourselves and be careful okay?

I will be sending all my best wishes and thoughts your way.

Spent the weekend just catching up on rest and spending time with Writer.

We rewatched a few movies too!

On Friday, we watched Tangled but I love the horse, Maximus, so I didn't mind watching it again.  We also rewatched  Dragon Hunters, which is a movie that I fell in awe with a while ago. It's very exciting and I love the premise of a world being torn apart and swallowed up by a dragon.

Saturday, Writer had to work and we had dinner relatively late, so not much happened in the way of movie viewing.

But on Sunday, we rewatched Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark. Because I equate Harrison Ford with Han Solo, this led to some amusing Star Wars quoting during the rewatch.

For example, there is a scene in which Indiana has infiltrated the Nazi base and he has stolen some clothing from a man that is apparently smaller in size than himself. As he is realizing that he can't pull the shirt tight enough to button, a Nazi solider comes up on him and starts talking to him in German about how poor his appearance is. This scene led me to flash back to the scene in Star Wars where Han and Luke have just gotten to the prison where Leia is kept and Han is having a conversation over a radio with a command area. He is saying "Fine, everything's fine here, how are you?" Well, I sort of transported the line "Boring conversation anyway" to Indiana as he punched the Nazi soldier that is berating his appearance. Writer laughed.

After that movie, we watched Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. After all this time...how creepy is that basilisk?! And the spiders?? Ewww! That was a tense moment, really.

I am hoping to rewatch another Harry Potter movie and the next Indiana Jones movie perhaps this week.

Aside from having a wonderful weekend, the week is shaping up to be a good one, but busy. I have a lot of cleaning I want to get to before school starts in two weeks. I am literally doing some heavy spring-cleaning style work here because when I was depressed, I didn't get to all that. There is so much stuff to go through as well!

Financially,I am  still waiting for our student stipend to come in. I received an email saying that they will release all disbursements on Monday the 29th which is a bit silly in my opinion since some of those checks (not mine since it is direct deposited) will have to be mailed. It's kind of cutting it close for those that have yet to get textbooks especially with a holiday in the mix. I still need textbooks as well and I need so many, oh my goodness! For one class alone I need 4 or 5 books, but I am going to be renting many of them, so that will cut down on expense.

Body-wise, I completely need a haircut. I haven't had it cut since about February and it is getting unruly now. Maybe next week I will just snap and get it cut..

Some friends of mine are moving from AZ to Portland, and they've had some financial struggles on that road.

So. </a></b></a>finch is doing free one card tarot readings, and accepting any donations that can get them on the road. He's also offering more complex tarot readings for a small charge. DETAILS OVER HERE. And he could use help in nailing down a place to rent and any job ideas.

</a></b></a>ambersweet is offering myriads of things from reiki to tarot readings to professional grade editing/proofreading. That's over HERE.

I'm dealing with a minor headache, so I am going to ramble a few things at you all.

1. Our old cat, Wiley (aka "Mr. Man) has developed this habit of wanting to sleep on and around my head at night. Most of this would be cute except for when he drapes over my face or wants to sleep with most of his body on my neck. I have joked that he is trying to kill me. I think he has just gotten a bit clinging in his old age.

2. Tomorrow will be a day filled with things I have to do a quality time with Writer. I have to do laundry and grocery shopping but I am hoping to get some movies in or just some general lounging around.

3. Because of the above, I will be off the internet for the weekend starting tonight. Unplugging...I love it.

4. Still need to post up some recipes. I know I don't have pictures for it, but I got a request for the portobello mushroom pizza. I will try to post that today before I completely unplug tonight.

5. Writer gets paid today, which is a good thing for our bank account right now. And Writer got a notice from work saying that the company just found out that the workplace isn't in city limits but city taxes have been taken out. I guess the company will be refunding those taxes for us. So, woot! But I really have no idea why the company wouldn't have checked that fact out before taking the city taxes out anyway.

6. Need to make the next two weeks menu and the grocery list, but hello headache, so I guess that is going to have to wait until tomorrow.

7. Of the things that still need doing before school starts in three weeks: thoroughly clean out bedroom and den, get rid of the go away crap in the den, and work on clearing out The Desk - especially the drawers. It's a process and I am confident that I can get it done in time. I  also need to figure out and freeze meals plus get an idea of lunches so that I can cook stuff up the week prior to starting school and not have to rush in the mornings.

8. I have gotten into this habit of youtube surfing when I am all headachey. It's something to do, I guess.

And now, I will post that recipe and then proceed with unplugging. Will catch up on comments and posts on Monday.

Have a great weekend you all!

Exercising is going great, because I am obviously losing weight, even if the scale doesn't say so. I am eventually going to get the measuring tape out and measure myself (I still have measurements from before I went to Japan), but not today.

I guess I have finally figure out the my body code - FINALLY!

It seems that if I do certain things, I lose weight like I should.

Cooking very healthful meals that are gluten and damn near sugar free is pretty key here. I am eating more veggies than I have ever eaten before and I sometimes feel like I am eating gourmet restaurant stuff. Seriously, I never thought I would be making a pseudo-pizza out of portobello mushrooms.

Exercising every day for two to three hours is important to me right now since I have so much weight to lose. Most of the exercise manifests in walking about 5-7 miles per day. Most days I only average around 6 miles, but depending on how I am feeling and where I am in the workout, I sometimes walk farther. For example, today I walked 8 miles because I was feeling so good.  Occasionally I do less walking and break out the hula dancing and the strength training. I also get the ab and arm work in there regardless. Building muscle is apparently awesome. ^^

I have also cut out soda (except rare occasions), fast food/eating out (I really can't remember the last time I ate out), and mindless junk food snacking. With the snacking, I have found a healthier snacks in the form of fruit and veg and sometimes cheese and nuts. Popcorn is a weakness.

And it's working. I am starting to undergrow my clothes.

Case in point:

The exercise top I use to work out in is lacking support but I am kind of between sizes, so it was hard to get into the ones that I bought in the next size down. Today, on a whim, I tried on one of those (I have three) in the size down. IT FIT!! A little tight, but I could get it on and off without struggle. So, fuck it, I exercised in that one today. The difference in support is amazing. Shut up, I have a big chest.  But yeah...I am already seeing difference. And you know how wh your body starts to change through exercise and you notice little weight losses here and there? Well, I have lost weight in my ankles - significantly enough that when I look at my ankles and feet I think my feet look huge and way too long.

Even My shorts are getting a bit big on me. The bad news is that i don't have any of those in the next size down. I guess that means i will have to buy some more soon.

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The other day, I managed to pull a tendon in my groin. Yeah, ow! Fortunately it doesn't interfere with the walking portion of my exercise plans, but lunges are out until it heals. How did I do this, you ask?

Stepping sideways. Yeah...I don't know either, but ow. You don't really realize how many ways your leg actually moves until you pull something in your fucking crotch. Jeebus.

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And finally, you all remember how the doc put me on Allegra-D for 30 days without fail for the lingering breathing problem? Yeah, that's not gonna work because it is making me jittery and interfering with my sleep. So what I am doing is instead of taking it every day, I am taking it every other day and that seems to work better for me. Less jitters. Hopefully I will be completely off the stuff before school starts.

After the weathermen claimed that we would only have isolated or scattered rain showers throughout the weekend, they were wrong. It rained both Saturday and Sunday almost non-stop. And not just small little raindrops - more like torrential downpours. So that killed any real plans of doing anything outside of the apartment - well, that and being out of money.

Friday, Writer and I watched the movie Shutter Island. I didn't think I was going to get into it at first, but I am a die-hard watcher so I usually finish watching what I start. It turned into a real mind-bend that left Writer and I discussing the ending and what we thought really happened for a couple hours. It was interesting and I would probably give it a four out of five.

On Saturday, I woke up with a migraine that peaked at a 7 on my ten scale. The entire day went to fending that off. At one point I lay down in a dark room and fell asleep for two hours. That was unplanned, but I suppose much needed.

Saturday night saw the headache lift, but I continued to have aura effects well into Sunday. Writer and I re-watched the movie Big. You know how you watch a movie years prior and love it, then you watch it later and just think that it was good, but it wasn't as great as you originally remember. That was one of those. I certainly still enjoy the movie, but I am not as enamored with it as I once was.

Sunday, I decided to make some more potato chips (this time with Writer's help). We also managed to finish off some more of that frozen ratatouille. Sadly, there is only one container left until I make more. We spent a little time together and later that evening finished off Ouran High School Host Club. We really loved the entire series and were a little afraid that they would just leave the last episode hanging, but I am satisfied with the way they wrapped it up.

No idea what our plans are tonight, but it will involve dinner of some kind and then maybe some TV time. Hmm, I think I'll make potato curry and some chai rice pudding for dinner. Well then, I guess that's decided. ^^

How was your weekend?

I have done things today all while being kicked around by my body....it's being a bitch. Taking a rare rest day from exercise because of it.

1. Made some potato chips.

2. Made some cookies - Writer OMG NEEDS them...chocolate cravings FTW because I get them too. ^^

3. Made up a huge batch of rice for the week. We like to have it for breakfast with a little milk and sugar. Call it a throwback from my poor childhood.

And now, I am going to laze around with a hot water bottle and a blankie with my books and netflix subscription.

Can it be next Friday already?

I just spent the last hour and a half putting out financial fires. A couple things came through the bank that I was not expecting - read I thought they were already taken care of - which put us in a bind for rent and another bill.  Fortunately, I called the other bill and they agreed, although reluctantly, to move the payment to next Friday. This is a weight off. Then I called the bank and it seems that the rent has already cleared with the help of overdraft protection. This is also good since there are no other bills needing to go out this week or next. The bad comes in t of the negative balance that our bank is currently running and will stay that way until next Friday. It is a weird and unusual snafu that I don't have a habit in making but unfortunately happened.

But talk about stressful.This means that all we have to worry about is gas money - we have plenty of food in the house - and Writer has a few dollars to take care of that. All we have to do is make it to the end of the month and we have a little windfall coming in - it's not much, but it will be something.

Good news is that I may have a job lined up for this semester. It's only 10-14 hours a week, but it will be extra something coming in to the household. It's not definite yet, but I have a contact that wants me to work so, I am just waiting on her to send me the information on the position. Apparently, they have changed the way that these things are applied for, so I have to actually do something other than the verbal okay.

I worked a little on cleaning The Desk last night. I didn't get very far because there is so much stuff to wade through. Why are office bits and baubs so addicting? Why do I feel so compelled to keep them?

Today, I got my 7 mile walk in and felt good, but with everything going on today, now I just feel drained. It's funny how a little stress can take the wind right out of your sails.

I have a few new individuals on my reading list, so welcome! It's nice to meet you all. ^_^

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I have a little over 4 weeks before the fall semester starts. I am ready and then I am not. There were so many things that I wanted to get done in the time I had off from school, but many of those projects stalled or became dead in the water before they started. So now, I am just trying to concentrate on the things I can conceivably even get done in the time I have left.

Now that the depression is lifting, I am able to clean the house again. This leaves me in a rush to do all the spring cleaning that didn't get done before the next four weeks is up. I don't want to have to start school with so many cleaning projects left unfinished because once I start school I get extremely busy.

For example, I have the desk from hell, fondly referred to as just The Desk (TM).. This desk is constantly messy, though it has moments of sheer clean glory and occasional times of cluttered. The Desk is really to big for me right now. I have out grown it  or fell out of love with it and therefore it has lost much of the real usefulness it once had. So, instead of being a functional place it is just sort of a catch all that happens to be the right size for my desktop. If I could afford a new desk, believe me, this one would find a new home....but until then, I am stuck with this. (Besides, truth be told, I would rather deal with The Desk and pay off our debt load.)

Well, since I need The Desk functional for schoolwork, it needs to be cleaned...a lot. I am thinking that I will probably tackle it this evening. The hardest part is that I am addicted to the stuff in it and on it. I have this thing about amassing pens and pencils, stationary I will never use, scrap paper (because oh god, I have to make LISTS!), and other miscellaneous office-type baubs because you never know WHEN THEY'LL COME IN HANDY! I have a problem just throwing those things out. I guess I am just going to have to buckle down and make some hard decisions on what to keep and what to just throw away.

The other thing that I am slightly irritated about is my weight. I am just not where I thought I would be when I made plans. I cut myself some slack because the depression was so debilitating that there was no way I was doing anything more tn staring at the walls watching the paint get another day older and wishing that the aches that I had everywhere would just go away.

So, I have been doing what can now. And I am doing very well actually...it's just not where I want to be yet. But, once I am in school, I get full use of the gym and I can't wait for that...so there's an upside! I guess I am going to have to dig out my padlock for a locker.

I am thinking about doing video blogs every couple weeks just for charting progress and the like. I used to do it in my other journal and it keeps me motivated a bit. Weird, I know. It's also nice for a little verbal venting since I don't get to talk to many people all day.

And now, I should stop procrastinating and start the damn Desk.... We'll see if this cleaning thing really happens or not, because, you know, there are other things I want to do.... for example, I NEED some more random icons uploaded....yeah. >.>;;

It's not just the heat, it's the humidity! It's like bathing in city soup out there.

So, the weekend was fairly uneventful, but had a good time nonetheless. Of the things Writer and I did this weekend:


Also, you guys, I can't believe this happened today but...after 7 months of being home from Japan, I...finally washed the clothes that I traveled home in.

Now, you may be thinking: "Why the hell didn't you wash them sooner?"

Well, the first thing is the depression and the second thing is that both the skirt and the shirt are hand-washables. So, when you're as depressed as I was, you just kind of ignore certain things. Also, it's like closing a chapter and I couldn't bear to do that yet.

But, the depression is starting to lift and I am able to look at closing that chapter and moving on to the next. So, big yayzors there.

And you know what? I may actually clean The Desk today (you know, the desk of DOOM that is never ever clean?...yeah, that desk.)

So, is there anything you guys need me to check out in your journals? How was your weekend?

I'm going to be taking a break from the internet for the weekend to deal with weather-related things and some personal/spiritual/embodiment stuff.

Today, there are some nasty storms in the area, so the break starts today when I disconnect our computer for the weather.

Then tomorrow, Writer is off work and we will be doing ALL THE THINGS!

The rest of the weekend may be taken up with a reading marathon or some random movie viewing. Couple that with exercise - I'm on a role - and hopefully some cleaning stuff and I will be preoccupied for much of the time.

Just hit me today that I have about a month before school starts and I NEED to get some stuff done and organized or I will fall flat into stress stress stress when I start getting into schoolwork.

So, adios for the weekend! Hope it's a good one for you. I'll catch up with you all on Monday!

Thanks to a couple really awesome friends, I managed to get into see a doctor and get medication. You guys totally rock and I will pay you back as soon as I am able! Love you guys!

So, here is the good news: I don't have an infection.

The bad news: because of the scarring on my lungs from once living in a residence with black mold I may just damn prone to these periods of hella awful asthmatic and post nasal issues. And it may be caused by not only allergies such as ragweed, but also brought on by weather changes *cue dramatic music for the HEAT WAVE AND HUMIDITY OMG!*

So, the doc put me back on an oral steroid and Allegra-D for 30 days.

But...it's already starting to help! I can breathe much better now and I generally feel better if not a little drowsy and slightly loopy from the medicine.

I'm a little frustrated with the setbacks to my exercise program, but I'm eating very well, so I don't feel wrecked over it.

So, what's going to happen now: well, I take the medicine as prescribed and if, after 30 days, I still have problems, I go back to the doctor for TESTING! Yeah, not real excited about that, so I'd better get frickin' better.

But to my wonderful friends, thank you all for keeping me in your thoughts and for your suggestions! *offers big hugs*

Love you guys!

A friend of mine is having a really rough time financially so she is pulling out her tarot deck to raise some much needed cash.

Go over and get  a free one-card draw or a very reasonably priced more complex reading!

Please check it out!

Last week when I went to the doctor for a diagnosis of bronchitis. Well, I took all the medicine and it went away...only to return yesterday. And the asthma flare-up that comes with it is just awful.

Seriously, the phlegm is so bad that I am taking enormous amounts of benadryl and mucinex to keep it under control. Also playing with a decongestant and drinking so much water to thin the stuff out that I am probably going to the bathroom every half hour. Sorry, that was TMI, but you know...I don't really care.

This morning I was up at 4:30 am because breathing was bad.

And you know what? I can't afford to go back to the doctor. I actually tried calling them yesterday to see if they could prescribe more medicine for this issue only to be told that they would need to see me again and that they couldn't prescribe over the phone even with my file on hand.

$60....that is what I would need to be able to see the doc again. I don't have insurance (I can't afford it) and don't qualify for anything through DHS. But that $60...I can't afford that plus medication. So even if I went to the doctor, I could get diagnosed, but wouldn't be able to fill the prescription.

So, I try the turmeric and the tea and the deep breathing and the OTC meds and hope like hell that it doesn't get worse and that it just goes away. So I deal with the sleeplessness from being awoken at night with issues and I deal with the body-panic reaction because I can't breathe correctly right now.

I just deal with it, but really I just want to cry and don't dare because it makes the symptoms worse. All for $60...could I just get a break this year?

Sometimes things are hard to get over. Like severe depression.

It sneaks up on you, sometimes without you being even remotely aware that it is coming, and starts clinging like that one friend that everyone calls "The Tick" because they just can't leave you alone for a second. And for me, it hit hard and while I was cruising on doing other things.

I think it probably started around the end of 2009, really, but it was probably in the minor sneaking phase then.

( 2009-2011 in mini review, or my life, let me show you it. )

So, it's been hard picking myself up. Very hard.

But things are looking up!

- The B vitamins are working against the heaviest of the depression. Seriously, when I am off them, man do I feel it!
- Writer has been employed and while we are still having a bit of financial trouble, things are getting better.
- Taking the summer off is helping with my stress levels. They have come down and I am working on self-improvement.
- AND Writer is writing again, which makes me happy anyway. Really, it gives a new energy to our home that has been missing.

The one thing I wish I could get back into is hopeforlorn . But I have to take it one step at a time and I am not there yet. Instead I am modding three other video game related communities (areyougame , ffvii_100 , kh_100 ) and that seems to be enough.

And I have learned a powerful lesson: don't carry the stress, don't let it pile up - talk to someone, take time for you, grieve when you have to.

I will probably forget the lesson I learned, but I sure as hell hope not, because the climb up is really more exhausting than the fall.

Sorry I have been absent you guys.

I have been going gluten-free and have been dealing with a plethora of withdrawal symptoms including headaches. My depression has been on a bit of a roller coaster. Some days it's there in abundance and some days it is so quiet that I almost feel that it's run for the hills.

I am still not going to be online for the next week either as I am trying to tie up some loose ends on a project proposal that has been completed. One more follow up project and it will be done. Hopefully, I can make a bit of a dent on it today.

I will be offline this weekend, but hopefully by Monday, I can get my shit together enough to spend a little fun time on the internet.

Before I left for Japan, I was doing really well on my health. I even maintained it while I was in Japan. Now, since getting home and shit hitting the proverbial fan, I haven't been doing so good. Exercise is going well, but I still feel trashed.

Some of you may remember that months before I left for Japan I had effectively quit eating wheat and sugar and was feeling great. There were two reasons behind this action - one being that sugar really messes with my system overall. It tends to disagree with me on many levels - including eczema and skin problems and it aggravates my anxiety and depression among other TMI things I won't go into here. As far as wheat - when I was a teenager, I had been diagnosed as mildly allergic to wheat. But the thought was that if you kept eating it without major problems, you were sort of inoculating yourself against it.

But you know what? Things have gone from really good to flat out bad now that I am eating the wheat and sugar again. The sugar is it's own problem and I can pinpoint the issues, but with the wheat...I tend to wonder if I don't have celiac disease. I fit many of the symptoms of it to a tee. But, of course, I can't really afford to get an official diagnosis with not having insurance and all, but I have my suspicions. But treating for it won't hurt me.

So, I am going to ween myself off the wheat (and sugar) again. I felt so much better doing it before - a lot of health problems I had went away and I was emotionally and mentally at the top of my game. Not so anymore and something has got to change - so off the two I go again.

I'll let you all know how it goes.

In other news, yesterday Writer and I went for a walk in the park. I was eaten alive by mosquitoes, but they didn't flare up on me at all yesterday. This morning, I reacted horribly and have these huge welts on my body from the bites. I have one on the back of my left arm, one on the top of my right forearm, and one on each leg. Yeowtch and itchyitchyitchy!

I really hate mosquitoes.

So apparently the world is ending tomorrow at 6 pm. I have to question - in what time zone will the ending come first?

Let me direct you to the CDC's Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness - you know, just in case. ^_^

I will still be here at 7 pm tomorrow, most likely playing Lego Pirates.

( Walking mileage )